Incredibly Strange Blog That Stopped Living and Became Mixed-up Movie Reviews

English director John Hough (The Legend of Hell House, Escape from Witch Mountain, Watcher in the Woods, The Incubus, Howling IV, and American Gothic) captures a bit of 70s Americana with Dirty Mary Crazy Larry, starring Peter Fonda, Susan George, Adam Roarke, Vic Morrow, Kenneth Tobey, and Roddy McDowall. Peter Fonda plays Larry, an aspiring race driver who ends up robbing a store to get cash for some wheels. Susan George tags along with no invitation, while Adam Roarke is Larry's mechanic and part of the plan. Vic Morrow and Kenneth Tobey play cops on their tail, while Roddy McDowall has a cameo as the poor robbed store manager.

This is a nice, natural, realistic-looking film that keeps your interest. The car chases, and apparently stunts, were all done at speed and look really good. The acting is competent, and the actors add a lot to their pretty basic characters. It's a car-chase movie, and it that sense it definitely doesn't disappoint.



Tagline: No one's faster than Crazy Larry, except Dirty Mary!

Highlights: The stunts/driving; the redneck cop who's "top end is un-limited!"; nice look, pace, and scope of the film (it was pretty good all around); the ending.

Most Haunted is a British TV show that now airs in the US on the Travel Channel. The basic premise involves the crew of the show investigating different supposedly haunted locations, usually in the UK. The crew includes the host, Yvette, and various crew members, almost always including a psychic and a somewhat skeptical parapsychologist, along with the crew that actually films and directs the show. There's a basic formula: part 1, the introduction; part 2, the psychic walk-through; part 3, sitting in the dark waiting for stuff to happen; and part 4, some strange events plus a conclusion where some of the crew talk about how they really believe the place was haunted and a parapsychologist or two temper that with "well, maybe."

Most of the Internet discussion about the show seems to center around whether or not everything's legit, but it doesn't really matter to me one way or the other. I'm pretty skeptical, but this show is enjoyable just to see both the psychics ham it up and the crew scare themselves out of their minds. My favorite episodes so far were fairly recent, a two-part investigation of the Queen Mary where wet footsteps were found around the pool area. Whether you believe or not, many of the situations can be pretty creepy, while others are just funny. I find myself waiting for some strange noise to make members of the crew scream and go nuts.

The show has gone through six series in the UK. The first was a half-hour, but later seasons expanded to an hour. There's also Most Haunted Unseen (the first season episodes edited with extra footage to an hour), Most Haunted Extra (a half-hour bonus-footage show), Most Haunted Live (long special events on Halloween and the like), Most Haunted Almost Live (a highlight show of the live episodes), and Celebrity Most Haunted (where a "celebrity" will accompany them on an investigation).

The closest American show would probably be Ghost Hunters on the SciFi Channel (Wednesdays at 9pm), where they are much more skeptical and less easy to frighten. I can't decide which one is really "best," although Most Haunted is quite entertaining and worth a look if you get a chance. Just don't take it too seriously. It comes on Friday nights at 9pm on the Travel Channel.



Tagline: None that I know of.

Highlights: I guess when really creepy stuff happens, the crew go nuts, or when the psychics become "possessed" by evil spirits!

Unhinged is an early 80's slasher filmed in Oregon by Oregonians. I personally love slasher movies, especially those from the early 80's, but this one was pretty horrible. Even though they filmed in a mansion and had access to a helicopter, the filmmakers came up with an extremely boring film that was actually categorized as a "video nastie" is England. I have no idea why, because the gore was pretty tame and definitely not creative.

The DVD makers apparently understood that this movie was a pretty steamy one and put on some cheezy extras like a local morning show interview with a star and the director, and a "comedy commentary" by a seemingly pretty random group of people (including the guy who does the "Too Much Coffee Man" comic). I watched the movie first, so I really couldn't stomach sitting through the entire thing again for the commentary. However, I would recommend, if you just have to see it, to just watch the film with the comedy commentary. It will probably be a little less boring, even if you can't hear the film very well in the background (it won't make much difference and probably helps).

There is a twist ending that is reminiscent of a more well known early 80's slasher that was made slightly after this one (I don't think it was intentionally copied), but you can pretty much see it coming.



Tagline: Get your slice from the reaper. Violence beyond reason, Victums beyond help.

Highlights: It would probably be fun to watch this with a bunch of drunk friends. The DVD extras redeem the film a tiny bit. The main girl does do exactly what she should do once she finds the "gallery of dead people," which doesn't really fit with the crappiness of the rest of the film, so that was nice.

Directed by Rick Bota, this is another entry in his horrible run on the Hellraiser series. Pretty much doomed since the great Hellbound: Hellraiser II, the series has been slowly strangled to death by an apparent lack of understanding about what people liked about the first two. Bota's films actually have a lot in common with the first Hellraiser, which in itself is actually pretty slow-moving and devoid of Cenobite action. The first Hellraiser had a new concept and some awesome scenes, though, whereas Bota's generally just have a few interesting scenes hidden in absolute boredom. Personally, I think the Hellraiser series should be looking to Hellbound in terms of direction, while dropping the adult and stuffy trend of late. The use of CGI effects in these movies needs to end as well. I can't recommend this movie at all.


 

Tagline: The Latest, Most Terrifying Evil.

Highlights: Pinhead, although he's a little cheesy here. The seedy subway car was perhaps the best part in terms of imagery.

Dead Birds concerns a group of Civil War deserters who commit a crime and end up holing up in an old, abandoned plantation house. The setting's new, but the basic scenario has been done before. This time they slowly discover that the house is very haunted, and then things really start to go south. Despite the somewhat worn premise, the scares are actually there, and so is the atmosphere. The acting and direction are very competent; the script is perhaps the weakest part, although it does have a creepy backstory that redeems it somewhat. Unfortunately, the ending, plot-wise, was a bit weak as well.

Henry Thomas and Isaiah Washington do a great job, as does the entire cast. The plantation house is genuinely creepy on its own, but the direction and some of the situations really bring that out. The true scares can make you jump a little even if you're expecting them, so I'd say that they work. Although there is really a lot wrong with the movie, there's enough good to make it worth a watch.


 

Tagline: There are worse things than dying.

Highlights: The creepy house and the good scares. The acting, cinematography, and effects were all good for the obviously pretty low budget.

Directed by Robert Fuest (The Abominable Dr. Phibes, The Devil's Rain), And Soon the Darkness is a thriller about two English girls who, when biking through France, split up after an argument over the pace of the trip. When the girl who stayed behind didn't catch up at the next town, the other begins to search for her. This stretch of road in France is filled with strange characters, and, of course, nothing is what it seems.

Sometimes the characters can be a bit irritating in what they do or don't do, but the movie is interesting as a mystery and sometimes pretty suspenseful. The acting is good enough to make you forget about it, and the cinematography is very nice and supports the story very well.


 

Tagline: None found.

Highlights: All the crazy French characters. The way the language barrier was used to great effect. Some suspenseful moments.

Dead Meat is a zombie movie about a new form of mad cow disease that turns cows, and then humans, into zombies. A girl ends up escaping from her newly zombified boyfriend, only to meat up with a local undertaker and some other people who are trying to find a way out of the infected areas. Basically, they make their way across the countryside to a supposed safe haven, encountering zombie people and even one zombie cow.

The best part about the movie is that the gore is outrageous, even if it's not 100% realistic or all that plentiful. You can tell from the short included on the DVD that the director, Conor McMahon, is one twisted puppy, and given a bigger budget I think he would do a great balls-out zombie gore film. As it stands, this is definitely not the best zombie film ever made but it stands out.


 

Tagline: It's not what you eat, it's who you eat!

Highlights: Very nice cinematography, fun gore, and a basic but sometimes surprising zombie-movie plot